My Everyday Mystic by Jan Puta: blog for the soul

Have you ever felt alone in a group?

Have you turned down invitations because you didn’t have someone to go with?

Do you hate to think of holidays when others have families to share with and you don’t?

In my spiritual allegory, “In the Land of Two: the path to solidarity,” I created a land where everybody has somebody to partner with in their lifetime.

However, when a partner dies, the survivor has to leave and not come back until he or she has another partner.

It’s an ironic ending to a story that should symbolize and inspire solidarity with each other, whether partnered or single. But as we know, many times that’s not the way it turns out in the real world.

There’s a lot of truth in it for those of us who find ourselves single. We all want to belong somewhere. None of us want to be left behind.

Personally, there are times I love my solitude and peace and quiet. I relish my privacy and doing things my own way. For me, girl friends show up now and then to invite me out with them or just to visit and talk. And I return the favor and invite them along for a hike on the nature trails, or to call me and do lunch when they are in town again.

That’s the beautiful part about having a free will and being able to choose our own feelings. We can be alone but not lonely. We can be solitary but not sad and depressed. We can be by ourselves but not feel helpless or abandoned. I think it takes a lot of courage and mindfulness to walk by ourselves without buying into the story of a victim.

So the next time you see someone sitting alone at church or at a meeting, go and sit next to them. Smile and maybe even introduce yourself.

Standing in line at the grocery store or the post office? Smile at the folks ahead or behind you. Just acknowledging people is comforting and gracious. No one wants to feel as if they are ignored or dismissed by the folks around them.

I’d love to hear from you on how you walk your journey if you’re single. What are the best times you’ve ever put together for yourself? What do you do to keep yourself from falling into the victim role? What do you do with other singles in your area?

And if you have a wonderful partner in your life, do you know people who are single? And if you do, how do you treat them? What place do they have in your life?

To leave your comments, look for the “leave a response” area below, and write your message in the box provided.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Janice M. Puta
Author of Pathways: Tales for the Spiritual Seeker
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